The Barack Obama Shuffle

I can hear the cries of all 4 of you that read this, now:

"I read thirsty bitch to find out all the latest news on John Stamos, if I wanted politics I'd go to a more prestigious blog, like PerezHilton....

What the dilly, yo?"

Well, let me give you the dilly.

I usually don't get very involved in political discussions, not because I don't think it's important, but what's the point of complaining about something you can't change.

"But, thirsty bitch, you can make a change."

Well, hopefully, I can. Since this election, more than any other previous year, has entered the zeitgeist of POP CULTURE, its now in my realm to comment on. In other words, when candidates are appearing on SNL, dancing on Ellen, talking about cellulite on Tyra, and even inspiring viral videos..."you's in my house now!"

The latter of those examples is my motivation. You see, one of my biggest pet peeves is celebrities talking about politics. This irks me to the point of not even wanting to call it a "pet peeve" because the word pet is in there and pets are cute. I'm just peeved.
Last week, a video was brought to my attention. Its intent was to inspire me, to say it fell short of its goal is an understatement.

Take a look:

Isn't that the most re-goddamn-diculous thing you've ever seen?

Am I supposed to vote for Barack Obama because Jessica Alba is hot, and she wants me to? Should the next President of the United States of America be sold to us like beer? Didn't anyone realize that people were going to crack up as soon as they saw Malcolm Jamal Warner in there?

"Theooooooooo, tell the people who you want them to vote for!"

By the time Tyrese shows up, this video has zero chance at having any credibility. By the way, nice job getting Macy Gray to appear. The fact that she showed up in "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" the day earlier means shes not a whore for publicity at all. My absolute (least) favorite thing about the video, though, is the "acting." Can't you just hear the director feeding them things like, "Sounds too forced, throw some "Umms'" in there. Ooooh, yeah, play with your hair, that looks so natural." Give me a break.

The short of it is that no one cares who Luis Guzman is voting for or that George Lopez endorses a candidate in his mother tongue, or at least no one should care. I do feel confident, however, that the only people this video will reach is those not yet of voting age, who don't even know that the woman telling them to vote used to play Martin Lawrence's neighbor.


I should also note that I have no problem with Obama, but this video does kinda support my theory that he may, in fact, be the Antichrist. C'mon, don't tell me you haven't thought about it. He's a little too charismatic.

Also, am I alone on this or does he sound an awful lot like The Rock? During the debates, my mind tends to wander and I imagine scenarios where Obama could use some of his catch phrases. Just a peek inside my mind. Plus, Barack...Ba-rack...Ba-rock...The Rock. C'mon!

Less of a rant next week.