Week in Review, 4.3.09

We hit something of a milestone here today at Thirsty Bitch. This is our 8th post in 2009, surpassing the number of posts we had in 2008. Hard to believe, but we've done it. Thanks for stopping by and please keep stopping by.

This week, we got a big hunk of info on the upcoming Spider-Man musical, ahem, excuse me, a "circus rock-'n'-roll drama" is what they would prefer you call it. I think they're trying to invoke Cirque Du Soleil, but all that "circus rock-'n'-roll drama" invokes for me is a vision of a guitar-wielding clown atop an elephant threatening to kill all the puppies in the world. This is what the statement had to say about who Spidey will be going up against:

As Spider-Man, Peter clashes with a parade of Marvel villains -- Green Goblin, Carnage, Electro, Rhino, Swarm and Lizard... a new baddie for the show -- Swiss Miss, whose costume, designed by Oscar winner Eiko Ishioka ("Bram Stoker's Dracula"), consists of rotating knives and swirling corkscrews.

You had me and you lost me. Some of his biggest villains a chick named after both a Hot Chocolate and a utility knife. I hope Polish Sausage doesn't show up or worse yet, The French Tickler.

President Obama Visited the Queen this week. His gift to the Queen? A video Ipod filled with photos and media of her 2007 visit to the US. Her gift? A framed photo of her and her husband. Really? What type of thoughtless crap gift is that? I know this woman is old, but at least give a rational grandma gift like some sweaters or an afghan. If I was Obama, I would've gone 1776 on her and jabbed her in the throat. Then he could say something historically meaningful like, "No taxation without representation, ...bitch"

I found out about this pretty cool contest over at Dunkin' Donuts where you can create your own doughnut and enter it in a contest to win $12,000. Pretty fun just to play around with, but if this works out well for DD, don't be surprised if you see a slew of other companies following suit. Burger King's "Make Your Own Burger", Domino's "Make Your Own Pizza", KFC's "Create a Chicken Skin," Who Knows? Hey, fast food places, I can already do all of those things...in my kitchen. We turn to you to do the heavy lifting, don't just toss the ball back in our court like that. Douchebags. Well, anyway, here's one of the donuts I made...The Thirsty Bitch.

We also got our first look at the Sacha Baron Cohen's Borat follow-up, Bruno. They released a red-band trailer just a few days after the film got saddled with a NC-17 rating. I did enjoy Borat, but I didn't see it in the theater and I'll probably catch this flick when it "hits disc" (it'll catch on). What I didn't enjoy was all the Bankers and douchebags that walked around saying "Very Nice!" It was like Austin Powers all over again, yet somehow worse...much worse. Anyways, check out the trailer below. (NSFW, if you're the one person reading this from their work)

Finally, last thing on the plate for today is the birthday of everybody's favorite Baldwin, Alec. I gotta admit, I never cared for him much as a movie star, but he really gets it done on the small screen. Alec had a string of really funny appearance on SNL in the 90s and then he knocks it out of the park every week on 30 Rock. Of course, anyone who's ever seen Glengarry Glen Ross, will remember his monologue, which we will sign off with here today. Happy Birthday, Alec!

The Barack Obama Shuffle

I can hear the cries of all 4 of you that read this, now:

"I read thirsty bitch to find out all the latest news on John Stamos, if I wanted politics I'd go to a more prestigious blog, like PerezHilton....

What the dilly, yo?"

Well, let me give you the dilly.

I usually don't get very involved in political discussions, not because I don't think it's important, but what's the point of complaining about something you can't change.

"But, thirsty bitch, you can make a change."

Well, hopefully, I can. Since this election, more than any other previous year, has entered the zeitgeist of POP CULTURE, its now in my realm to comment on. In other words, when candidates are appearing on SNL, dancing on Ellen, talking about cellulite on Tyra, and even inspiring viral videos..."you's in my house now!"

The latter of those examples is my motivation. You see, one of my biggest pet peeves is celebrities talking about politics. This irks me to the point of not even wanting to call it a "pet peeve" because the word pet is in there and pets are cute. I'm just peeved.
Last week, a video was brought to my attention. Its intent was to inspire me, to say it fell short of its goal is an understatement.

Take a look:

Isn't that the most re-goddamn-diculous thing you've ever seen?

Am I supposed to vote for Barack Obama because Jessica Alba is hot, and she wants me to? Should the next President of the United States of America be sold to us like beer? Didn't anyone realize that people were going to crack up as soon as they saw Malcolm Jamal Warner in there?

"Theooooooooo, tell the people who you want them to vote for!"

By the time Tyrese shows up, this video has zero chance at having any credibility. By the way, nice job getting Macy Gray to appear. The fact that she showed up in "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" the day earlier means shes not a whore for publicity at all. My absolute (least) favorite thing about the video, though, is the "acting." Can't you just hear the director feeding them things like, "Sounds too forced, throw some "Umms'" in there. Ooooh, yeah, play with your hair, that looks so natural." Give me a break.

The short of it is that no one cares who Luis Guzman is voting for or that George Lopez endorses a candidate in his mother tongue, or at least no one should care. I do feel confident, however, that the only people this video will reach is those not yet of voting age, who don't even know that the woman telling them to vote used to play Martin Lawrence's neighbor.


I should also note that I have no problem with Obama, but this video does kinda support my theory that he may, in fact, be the Antichrist. C'mon, don't tell me you haven't thought about it. He's a little too charismatic.

Also, am I alone on this or does he sound an awful lot like The Rock? During the debates, my mind tends to wander and I imagine scenarios where Obama could use some of his catch phrases. Just a peek inside my mind. Plus, Barack...Ba-rack...Ba-rock...The Rock. C'mon!

Less of a rant next week.