Top Ten Tuesday: Top 10 Commandments.

The other day, I found myself having a profound movie going experience. I saw The Ten, and it was amazing. Since it doesn't have the widest release in the world, let me break it down for those of you that haven't heard of it. The film takes the 10 Commandments and made 10 comedic vignettes about them, occasionally tying them together with recurring characters, lines, etc. And if that doesn't get you to hand over $10, Paul Rudd "hosts" the movie. Cha-ching.

I loved the movie so much, I thought that I would pay tribute here to the original Top 10 list. So get ready to kick it Sunday style, The Top 10 Commandments:

10. Thou shalt keep the Sabbath holy.
This is a tough one, tough to keep as a child, harder to keep now. Especially since I work every Sunday. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
Hey, you see a girl walking down the street, she passes you. You turn around. Bam! Covet. The Internet has not made this one any easier.

8. Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's goods.
Hey, your friend has a really nice big HDTV in his house. Bam! Covet.

7. Thou Shalt not commit adultery.
Hey, you see a girl walking down the street, she passes you. You turn around. Bam! Adultery... I know. They covered all the bases.

6. Thou shalt not steal.
I would say this is the only one on the list that I broke more as a child than as an adult. Hi-C used to give away X-men pogs in the big cases at the supermarket. The pogs were positioned in such a way that you can just reach your hand into the box and slide them out. I would spend a half hour in the juice aisle wreaking havoc on every box of Hi-C I could. This is a morality tale though, as one day when my parents came back from the store, they had bought me a case of Hi-C, just so I could get the X-men pogs from it. Of course, there were none.

5. Thou Shalt not use the Lord's name in vain.
This one used to be so easy. I never cursed that much. In my old age, however, I know sounds like a sailor with a piece of shrapnel stuck in his spine. I'd say I break this one at least every hour.

4. Thou Shalt not bear false witness.
Fancy way of saying not to lie, worded in an obsolete vernacular to make you think that lying didn't make the list and is actually ok. If I recall correctly though, teachers told us that white lies were not included, which doesn't make sense that there would be a loophole in the ten commandments.

3. Thou Shalt not have other gods before me.
This is a tricky one, to the untrained eye you're all like cool, another one we can scratch off the list, I'm not gonna build a throne to Xantar, the lord of the cosmos, but this one has been updated a little bit to include holding things too important. I'm looking at you, American Idol fans. Its right there in the title...Idol.

2. Thou shalt not kill.
This one was always viewed as something of a freebie in school. Whenever this one was mentioned it was like,"I'm never gonna kill anyone, scratch this off the list!" But, seriously, don't kill anyone... especially me. Even if its as a goof.

1. Honor thy Father and Mother.
Look, this one just makes good sense. Simple matter of respect, 'nuff said.

This is much funnier than the post was...