Say What? A Thirsty Bitch movie review?! I've been waiting my whole life for this. I hope he reviews a movie that's a month old!
Your wish is granted.
When I had heard all the buzz on the Internet about 18 months ago about an I am Legend movie, I decided to pick up Richard Matheson's 1954 novel of the same name. For a work of science fiction over 50 years old, it holds up surprisingly well. It's tense, smart and chilling. I enjoyed it, but I didn't love it. This made me feel like I could handle whatever dreck Hollywood was preparing to throw at me without getting my hopes up only to be let down.
Then, there was the trailer...
This caused me to thoroughly geek out. It looked like Cast Away meets 28 Days Later. My hopes began to grow like a well maintained Chia Pet ( callback, Holla!). Seriously though, the marketing team for this movie did a great job; the trailers and the TV were fantastic and really built excitement for the movie, so by the time I got a chance to check it out, I was really stoked for it.
When I finally got a chance to see it, I rushed out of work in order to make the 9:30 show. I got there just in time to catch the right amount of the looping trivia and commercials they show beforehand and by the time the lights dimmed for the 20 minutes of trailers, there was little that could prepare for this shitty trailer...
When I finally got a chance to see it, I rushed out of work in order to make the 9:30 show. I got there just in time to catch the right amount of the looping trivia and commercials they show beforehand and by the time the lights dimmed for the 20 minutes of trailers, there was little that could prepare for this shitty trailer...
What the hell, Hayden? But I guess it only makes sense that they would eventually start making superhero movies not based on comic books, see also this piece of crap...
Yeah, I hate people, too, but I digress...
The movie began with about 20 minutes of production logos, but once the actual movie started playing I was grinning from ear to ear, it was exactly the movie I was in the mood for and had expected. Mindless fun, yes, but still fun nonetheless. It was tense, exciting, and a little creepy ( I jumped more than once). I was even able to forgive the terrible CGI creatures that look a little worse than the zombies in Resident Evil.
Then, there was the third Act. Can no one write a third act anymore? I'm sorry, I failed to mention that this movie was written by Akiva Goldsman, one of the biggest hacks in Hollywood. Let me break you down his filmography for you: Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, Lost in Space, Practical Magic, and The DaVinci Code.
Yes, he's doing the world a favor by being on strike.
So, like every other movie these days, it totally fell apart at the third act. I don't want to have to put in a spoiler alert, but Akiva Hacksman took the twist from the book and made it shittier. And not interesting. And lame. And I hate him. The movie could've been salvaged, but they added this useless Epilogue which represents everything that's wrong with movies today. Will Smith is too concerned with his bankability to headline a movie with a bleak ending, therefore the movie gets ruined right at the end. And hey by that point, they already have your $10, so who cares?
Since that was too bleak of an ending, here's a happy epilogue for you...
Don't even tell me I am Legend wouldn't have been awesome if that was the last 3 minutes instead.
The movie began with about 20 minutes of production logos, but once the actual movie started playing I was grinning from ear to ear, it was exactly the movie I was in the mood for and had expected. Mindless fun, yes, but still fun nonetheless. It was tense, exciting, and a little creepy ( I jumped more than once). I was even able to forgive the terrible CGI creatures that look a little worse than the zombies in Resident Evil.
Then, there was the third Act. Can no one write a third act anymore? I'm sorry, I failed to mention that this movie was written by Akiva Goldsman, one of the biggest hacks in Hollywood. Let me break you down his filmography for you: Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, Lost in Space, Practical Magic, and The DaVinci Code.
Yes, he's doing the world a favor by being on strike.
So, like every other movie these days, it totally fell apart at the third act. I don't want to have to put in a spoiler alert, but Akiva Hacksman took the twist from the book and made it shittier. And not interesting. And lame. And I hate him. The movie could've been salvaged, but they added this useless Epilogue which represents everything that's wrong with movies today. Will Smith is too concerned with his bankability to headline a movie with a bleak ending, therefore the movie gets ruined right at the end. And hey by that point, they already have your $10, so who cares?
Since that was too bleak of an ending, here's a happy epilogue for you...
Don't even tell me I am Legend wouldn't have been awesome if that was the last 3 minutes instead.
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