Top 10 Signs You Are Running Out of Top 10 Ideas.

I gotta tell ya, it is exhausting coming up with these lists time and time again. If only I could be like David Letterman and stop caring if they are even remotely funny, but alas, I hold myself to a higher comedic standard and my punishment is waking up every night in a cold sweat next to an empty bottle of vodka in a strange room, scribbling the number 10 on things as if i were Jim Carrey in a crappy movie, or the worst of all...writing a BS top ten, in lieu of having to think too hard. So, without further ado, I present:

Top 10 Signs you are running out of Top 10 List Ideas:

10. You contemplate writing the Top 10 Celebrity Names, but can't think of anything else to top Edward James Olmos and Lou Diamond Phillips.

9. The Only Top 10 Idea left in your notes is "Top 10 Ways to get through the Writer's Strike"

8. What Would Dennis Miller Do?




7. You find yourself frantically browsing through Netflix, looking for any possible link between any 10 movies.

6. Top 10 Moments in Brad Garrett history, anyone? Can't decide if that would be laughably simple or impossibly hard (He was fantastic in No Country for Old Men).


5. I got it, The Top 10 Commandments! oh, we did that one already.

4. Hang on, I'm gonna go play on the Internet for a little while...

3. People...like...sports, right?...or kids....maybe the elderly, they're like kids. Perhaps sports between kids and the elderly...

2.

1. "If there is a Top 10 List you would like to see, go ahead and leave your idea in the comments."

Top 10 Reasons I Haven't Been Posting.

I know that all of you have been concerned about my well being since I teased you all with an awesome blog and then slowly disappeared into obscurity. Well here I am to let you know that nothing has happened to me, I am as safe as houses ( what does that mean? what if your house gets broken into? not too safe, huh?). And not only do I have a good excuse for my absence, I have 10...

10. Been trying to help Steven Seagal resurrect his career.

9. I've been staying up late watching all 3 hours of Big Brother After Dark looking for nudity, of which there has been none, but isn't that guy Dick a big jerk? and whats the deal with Danielle? Did anyone catch the episode where she was making a big deal about ska? Hey, 1998 called, they want their music back.

8. I've been flying back and forth from New York to San Diego dealing Oxycontin to Owen Wilson.....too soon?

7. Finally getting to work on those Golden Girls DVDs. Rue McClenahan, you are a national treasure.

6. Working hard on a spec script that combines the universes of Lord of the Rings with Star Wars. Get it? They have swords... and spaceships! Its a can't miss, I bet there are geeks lining up with their $10 already.

5. Perfecting Time Travel.

4. Working on my 2-Man Standup act with Matt LeBlanc. We are gonna take Open-Mic Night like a freakin' hurricane.

3. Why won't Brad Garrett return my phone calls?

2. While at my sister's wedding, I awoke one morning to Paul Giamatti singing "Hello, Its Me" from Duets. I've been working really hard to get it out of my head.

1. Trying to stop Moose & Squirrel.